Once in a while a story comes through the wires that is sounds as thought Dr. Octagon broke in to the news office and wrote it himself. In case you’re not a fan, this means that it reads almost like junk mail except that it actually makes sense in a very cartoony, raving-lunatic-genius kind of way. This article titled “Manager Arrested for Garbage in Lard” is not long but manages to pack some amazing phrases I’ve yet to see anywhere else. Here’s a short list:

• substandard lard
• salted, red-yolk duck eggs
• phony formula
• wasted limbs and swollen heads
• night raid
• grease rendered from sewage
• pure fat from hogs

By Danny Eagle in Front Page |

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